"The O.J. Murder Trial" by Dr.Seuss
I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be.
When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.
I have nothing, nothing to hide.
My friend, he took me for a ride.
Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.
Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, not anytime.
And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!

What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears?

Dinner at Hooters.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama.

Yo mama who?

Stupid , don't you even know yo own mama

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her!

Yo mama's so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"

.Yo mama's so fat she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.

Yo mama is so dirty she has to creep up on the bathwater.
Yo' mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her teeth have to duck.

Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone

Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?

A: Senator.

What's the difference between bin Laden and Aladdin?

Aladdin had 3 wishes and bin Laden only has 1 - a death wish.

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.

She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

What do you call Osama bin Laden buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

Do you know how we can get Osama bin Laden?

Lace a bunch of Watchtower magazines with anthrax and send the Jehovah Witnesses in after him. Those people can find anybody!

Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?

A: An air mattress.